How to have Devotional Time with God as a Couple

The foundation of a Christian marriage is Christ. It makes sense then, that Christian couples should spend time with God – as a couple.

Sadly, the spiritual side of many marriages is neglected and couples miss out on a huge bonding factor for their relationship.

Sharing spiritual thoughts and praying together automatically brings a couple closer together and creates intimacy.

But, reading the Bible and praying together can feel really awkward at first – because it’s actually quite an intimate thing to do.

It can also be hard to find the time for couple devotions because you’re balancing careers, kids, school, church activities and a whole lot more.

Let’s take a look at the why’s and how’s of couple devotions.

Why should couples do devotions together?

Picture a triangle – God at the top and you and your spouse on the two bottom corners. As you move up the triangle the two sides come closer together.

The closer we come to God, the closer we come to each other.

A healthy marriage has three components: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Spending time together with God creates spiritual intimacy – that third aspect that is so often missing.

Related: 4 Ways to Increase Intimacy in your Marriage

How to start couple devotions

Get over the awkwardness

Just dive in and talk about how awkward it feels. Get that out of the way and you’ll find it easier to progress with your devotional time together.

Make it a priority and set a time

Nothing changes if nothing changes. If you want to spend time together reading and praying you’ll have to plan for it and schedule it into your life.

Adjust your schedule if necessary. Then do it.

Richard and I always have our devotional time right before breakfast. That way we are both there, ready to eat – spiritually and physically. (This time works well for family worship too.)

Related: 4 Ways to Build Spiritual Intimacy with your Spouse

Be realistic

You may have a certain picture in your mind, an expectation of what you think couple devotions should look like – a vibrant discussion on some deep topic.

Umm… The reality is far from it. Somedays we read and pray without another word said – because we’re tired or just have nothing to add to the reading.

When our kids were young Richard and I didn’t do “couple devotions” – we had family worship twice a day and then Richard and I had a daily couple chat time (set in stone – in the middle of the day because we could) where we talked – sometimes about the things God was teaching us. We always ended this time with prayer and we prayed at night before we went to sleep.

Be prepared to let your expectations go and find what works for you.

Keep it simple

Couple devotions do not need to be long, drawn-out Bible study sessions. Keep your devotional time short and to the point. Read something that is relevant to you and that feeds you both spiritually.

Follow a simple format:

• Pray
• Read
• Comment or discuss – if you want to
• Pray

Find what works for you

Studying God’s word together will look different for each couple. It’s kind of traditional that the man reads, but in our house I am the reader and Richard likes to listen. Once we’ve finished reading, he will pray – and sometimes he asks me to pray.

Recommended books for couple devotions

Since our kids have left home, Richard and I continued the habit of morning devotions together.  

Books we have read together:

• The Bible – the entire book or selected portions
• The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life – Hannah Whitall Smith
• Secrets of the Vine – Bruce Wilkinson
• Secrets of the Vine Devotional – Bruce Wilkinson
• The Jabez Prayer – Bruce Wilkinson
• The Jabez Prayer Devotional – Bruce Wilkinson
• The True Vine – Andrew Murray
• The Love Dare – Stephen & Alex Kendrick
• When to Walk Away – Gary Thomas
• Get Your Life Back – John Eldredge
• The Desire of Ages – Ellen White

We also share favourite random quotes or something God revealed to us during our personal devotions and then talk about it.

These are books that work for us right now – they may not be suitable for your age and stage. Find resources that feed your souls and meet the needs and level of spiritual growth you are at right now.

Investing in the spiritual side of your relationship will draw you closer together and create deeper intimacy. Who doesn’t want that?

Do you have devotions as a couple? Do you ever pray together?