Emotional Health

Toxic relationships, self-care, personal growth, boundaries, emotional health.

How your Childhood Affects your Parenting

My sobbing three year old son stood by the bed.  “You must hug me; I can’t hug myself.” And I was frozen inside. Unable to offer comfort until my husband pushed me towards the little boy and told me to. What made me cold and unfeeling? Why could I not offer comfort? None of us wake up in the morning intending to hurt our children. Yet we do.We neglect needs, say hurtful things, withhold comfort, or laugh when we shouldn’t. The hurts we inflict are often unintentional and our children are wounded…

Focus on Yourself Series: Developing Yourself

A few months ago a friend and I had a conversation about how to overcome distraction and stay focused on a task. She really wanted to start doing better at it. Do you have things you’d like to change about yourself, things you’d like to learn, and areas you need to grow in? If you do, that’s a good thing because the Bible encourages growth.   2 Peter 1:5-8 makes God’s intention for us clear: grow so you can be fruitful.   “And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and…

18 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

No one purposely takes poison – even in small amounts. We know it’s stupid. But we often stay stuck in toxic relationships that make us mentally and emotionally sick and sometimes even destroy us. Toxic relationships can happen anywhere relationships occur – with a child or parent, in dating or marriage, with a friend or in a work environment, and yes, even in church. Recognising a toxic relationship can be difficult because we may be so used to mistreatment that it feels normal. The toxic person can make us feel like we are the problem. And naming the toxicity can…

How to Improve Low Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the way we think about ourselves and the value we place on ourselves. When we have healthy self-esteem we tend to feel positive about ourselves and life in general, and we’re better able to deal with life’s ups and downs. When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a negative light and feel less able to take on life’s challenges. Low self-esteem often stems from experiences in childhood that lead us to believe negative things about ourselves. These experiences could be things like: Being bullied…

How to Declutter your Life

Are you tired of feeling overwhelmed by your cluttered home? What about your emotions? Your life? Clutter is bad for your brain and bad for your health! It can make you feel stressed, anxious, and depressed. The visual distraction of clutter increases cognitive overload (fills up your mind space so you can’t think clearly). I never realised the impact clutter was having on me until I started decluttering. I immediately felt my mental health improve!   What happens when you declutter your life? Researchers have found that clearing clutter from the home and work environment resulted in a…

What to do if you are in an Abusive Relationship

Brenda and I went to school together and I attended her wedding way back when. She glowed with happiness as people pinned money to her wedding gown at the reception. It all looked so perfect, but I didn’t know she’d be stuck in an abusive relationship for years. Brenda stayed stuck because she felt unworthy and like the abuse was her fault. She forgave and forgot countless times, hoping things would get better. They didn’t.   Her husband was addicted to pornography. Brenda broke the videos when she found them. He watched porn at work or other people…

How to Start a Difficult Conversation

Is there a conversation you’ve been putting off because it’s too difficult or you don’t know how to get started? Maybe you’re angry with someone for something they did or did not do you feel guilty or embarrassed about something you did you need to confront inappropriate behaviour you need to share something you see needs adjustment in the other person Difficult, awkward conversations crop up everywhere. Why are difficult conversations so hard? Difficult conversations can be hard for a number of reasons: You hate conflict You’re afraid of saying the wrong thing You’re…

8 Ways to Build Trust in Relationships

All healthy relationships are based on trust. Without it a relationship will not flourish and grow, nor will it have the emotional intimacy that creates genuine connection. Importance of Trust in a Relationship The more you foster trust in your relationship, the safer you will feel. Without this sense of safety it will be very difficult to connect emotionally.   And emotional connection requires deeper revelation of yourself to your partner. It’s hard to maintain a long-term relationship when the only thing keeping you together is the surface-level stuff. Please note: The following suggestions are for those…

Two Morning Routines that Boost Productivity for the Whole Day

 Everyone has a morning routine. The question is, is yours helping you get a good start or is it hijacking your day? In the words of Tim Ferris, “If you win the morning, you win the day.” A good morning routine will increase your energy, mood, performance and productivity, giving you a sense of control over your life.    Because life is so demanding, it’s tempting to forgo the seemingly unimportant stuff, and get going with the “real” stuff – like work and all that the day throws at you.   But is that really productive? Apparently not…