Love & Marriage

Intimacy in marriage, sex, communication, boundaries, and romance.

One Common Reason Wives are Unhappy in Marriage

I hear from women all the time. They tell me about why they are unhappy in marriage. The one common reason that wives are unhappy in marriage is that their emotional needs are not met. Here’s a composite of what I hear: “I long to have my emotional needs met but whenever I talk to my husband about my needs he gets very upset. He blames me and tells me I’m breaking him down. My husband won’t talk to me or listen. I feel so disconnected from him. When I am anxious my husband tells me to…

8 Ways to Help your Husband be More Romantic

Note: This post first appeared in 2020 but has been updated. Do you have a logical, practical husband, but he lacks a little in the romance department? Have you given up all hope of ever having romance in your marriage? If this is you, I’m here to tell you there’s hope! Picture this: you feel in love with your husband (and he with you), you enjoy being together, and you have chemistry… Far fetched? Not at all. Only for newly-weds? Nope. Let’s jump right into exploring how you can help your husband be more romantic. But…

10 Ways to Rekindle a Dull Marriage

Note: This post first appeared in 2017 but has had a major overhaul. 🙂 Is your marriage stalled? Lifeless? Do you fear it’s even dying or dead? How can you rekindle your marriage? Before you try and figure out what to do about your dull marriage, let’s look at the signs of a failing marriage. What are the signs of a failing marriage? Always criticising each other Dull, boring sex, or none at all Arguments followed by stiff silence You argue about the same thing over and over You don’t enjoy being together You don…

Should Married Couples do Everything Together?

I received a message from a young woman asking if it’s wrong for her to want her husband to do everything with her.   She believes that a young couple should be together as much as they can, and wants to do everything with her husband – even if he just keeps her company while she does stuff. But her husband doesn’t agree. He’s tired when he gets home from work and doesn’t want to follow her around while she does stuff. Her argument is that after work is the only time they get to see each…

13 Ways to Increase Women’s Libido

Note: This post contains affiliate links. The media has led women to believe that if we don’t function sexually like a man then there’s something wrong with us.   Movies portray women as always eager for sex and instantly aroused, and because we don’t experience sexuality that way, we may assume that we are just not attracted to our husbands or there is something wrong with us.  Wrong! Women (and their husbands) need to learn how their sexuality works. Note: I’m assuming that you are not in an abusive relationship or that one of you…

What to do if you are in an Abusive Relationship

Brenda and I went to school together and I attended her wedding way back when. She glowed with happiness as people pinned money to her wedding gown at the reception. It all looked so perfect, but I didn’t know she’d be stuck in an abusive relationship for years. Brenda stayed stuck because she felt unworthy and like the abuse was her fault. She forgave and forgot countless times, hoping things would get better. They didn’t.   Her husband was addicted to pornography. Brenda broke the videos when she found them. He watched porn at work or other people…

How to Start a Difficult Conversation

Is there a conversation you’ve been putting off because it’s too difficult or you don’t know how to get started? Maybe you’re angry with someone for something they did or did not do you feel guilty or embarrassed about something you did you need to confront inappropriate behaviour you need to share something you see needs adjustment in the other person Difficult, awkward conversations crop up everywhere. Why are difficult conversations so hard? Difficult conversations can be hard for a number of reasons: You hate conflict You’re afraid of saying the wrong thing You’re…

8 Ways to Build Trust in Relationships

All healthy relationships are based on trust. Without it a relationship will not flourish and grow, nor will it have the emotional intimacy that creates genuine connection. Importance of Trust in a Relationship The more you foster trust in your relationship, the safer you will feel. Without this sense of safety it will be very difficult to connect emotionally.   And emotional connection requires deeper revelation of yourself to your partner. It’s hard to maintain a long-term relationship when the only thing keeping you together is the surface-level stuff. Please note: The following suggestions are for those…

How to Manage Finances in Marriage

Did you know that money is listed as one of the top reasons couples divorce? Why is money such a touchy subject? It’s touchy because: It involves shame or pride about whether you’re earning enough or earning at all. Money is often the measure of status, power or personal efficacy. You may feel entitlement about what you think you deserve. You or your spouse may be in denial of debt. You may have guilt over poor decisions in the past. It involves fear and insecurity about not having enough now or in the future. We compare ourselves with…