Do you wish you were a better parent? Have you made mistakes you wish you could undo? Do you struggle with impatience, sometimes yell at your kids, and wish they would just listen to you? It’s no light thing to raise a child, and the irony of it all is that you begin without knowing how and by the time your kids are grown, you’ve finally learnt how to parent, but by then it’s too late because they’re grown up! But wait! There’s good news! No matter what your track record looks like, you can…
One question we get asked frequently is, How do I get my kids to listen? The Bible is clear that children should obey their parents, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” Ephesians 6:1 (KJV) But how does that happen? Do children naturally obey their parents because the Bible says they should? Umm, we all know that doesn’t happen. So whose job is it to ensure that children are obedient? The parents’, of course. So, the next logical question is, If kids aren’t obedient, whose fault is that? Yup, the parent’s. So…
Parenting brings a whole new range of challenges to a marriage that weren’t there before kids came along, and you won’t always see eye to eye. Each parent has well established beliefs about how children should behave, how they should be treated, and what it means to be a good parent. A lot of this is informed by your own history – the example you had from your own parents. Your parenting is also influenced by your belief system, personality, and problem solving approach. So here you have two very different people needing to work together as a…
I recently received an email from a man with this question: “My wife complains that during sexual intimacy I don’t speak words that boost her desire much. I just repeat the usual words, “I love you”. It’s like I have a limited vocabulary. How can I include more variety in what I say to my wife and boost her desire?” Great question! Let’s dive in and figure this out. First, let me say that a woman’s sexual response is a little more complicated than a man’s. It’s not a switch…
Did you know that living with a negative person can actually make you depressed? Science shows that “there is an atmosphere – an aura, they call it – that surrounds us and reaches out toward others. That atmosphere, propelled by the heart, reaches out from four to ten feet, depending on the individual. It contains our conscious and subconscious thoughts and feelings, and either the love or the fear we live in.” [i] The atmosphere that surrounds each person has a conscious or unconscious effect on the people around them. This means that living with a negative person will have a direct…
I’ve written about red flags in relationships before – the signs of an unhealthy relationship. But today let’s look at the converse and talk about the good side of relationships – the green flags; the things that say, “Move forward; this is healthy”. If you’re looking for a healthy relationship, make sure you not only see these things in the other person, but that you are working on them yourself. If you’re married, you can’t make your spouse develop any of these things, but you can work on becoming a better partner yourself and pray…
“Say sorry!” If you’re a parent, you’ve said those words. And maybe your child mumbled “sorry” and you left it at that. But is a mumbled apology, while staring at the ground, good enough? Let’s face it, apologising is not easy. It’s awkward, humbling, and downright hard sometimes. But just because it’s hard doesn’t mean kids can’t learn to apologise well. It’s a life skill that will serve them well. How to teach kids to apologise Identify the offense Some kids say sorry just to get off the hook or because they…
Every person grieves the loss of a loved one differently – partly because each person is an individual but also because each relationship is different. I’ve written about How to Cope with Grief and Loss before, and today we’re talking about grieving from a different angle: Grieving the death of someone with whom you had a difficult or toxic relationship. I’m going to be vulnerable here and say that I experienced this kind of grieving when my mom died. Ours was a difficult relationship. When she died many people messaged me to say how sad they were and…
Today I’m answering a reader question, sent by a young man asking for advice on love and relationships. He wants to know, “What makes women feel loved?” Whew! Tough question. Women are complicated! Ask this question of 100 different women and you’ll probably get 100 different answers. Some love flowers. Some love messages. Some love gifts (I have a friend who loves getting tools as gifts – how’s that for unusual?). Some women love quality time, others feel loved when you help out with the kids or empty the trash. It can all seem…