4 Ways You Can Influence Your Kids No Matter How Old They Are

Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

Are you the parent of teens, young adults, or adult children and wondering how you can impact their choices and decisions?

They are growing up, or grown up, and you don’t have control over them anymore. And that can be tough! You wish you could step in and tell them what to do and how to do it, but you can’t.

However, this doesn’t mean you have lost the ability to influence your kids. There are still ways you can positively impact their lives.

Let’s take a look at the four ways you can influence your kids no matter how old they are:

Your Example

As your kids get older your example still has power to influence them. Just because they have grown up and are making their own choices does not mean that they don’t look up to you anymore.

Many parents abandon their principles when their kids leave home, thinking their example doesn’t matter anymore and now they can do as they please.


Your example still has a powerful influence over your kids. Never underestimate that.

Your Life Experiences

The things you have been through, the mistakes you’ve made, the lessons you’ve learned, are powerful tools for influencing your kids.

Last week one of our kids faced an integrity challenge and Richard and I both shared stories of how we did the right thing even though it was tough. We didn’t tell him what to do, we just shared our experiences.   

Sharing your story lets your child know they are not alone, that others have faced similar experiences.

Use your experience to tell the facts, your choices, and the outcome, and then let your kids make their own conclusions.

What they do with your story is their business.  Don’t try to force or persuade them. Let the story do that.

Your Encouragement

No one is ever too old for encouragement. Use it to positively impact your children.

The opinion of those nearest your children (namely you), who know them the best, has the biggest impact on their lives. Your words influence how your children see themselves and what they believe about themselves.  

Use words like,

  • I love you
  • I’m proud of you
  • You can do this
  • I believe in you
  • You are capable
  • No matter what, I’ll always be here for you
  • Go and tackle your giants
  • I’m praying for you
  • Don’t give up

These words have power in the life of a child. Knowing their parents believe in them will strengthen them.   

Words have power to make or break a person. No less your children. Speak encouragement into their lives and let them know you are their biggest fan.

Your Prayers

Praying for your kids opens the way for God to work in their lives. As Job prayed for his children, pray for yours every day.

Pray for their protection – physically and spiritually, pray for guidance for them, pray that the Holy Spirit will surround them and prompt them to make wise choices.

We are not wrestling against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers that are out to destroy our kids.

Bring them before God’s throne every day.

Your child will always look up to you and have expectations of you, because you are the parent.   

You may not have the control you used to have, but you will never lose the power to influence your children, no matter how old they are.  

Start using that power of influence today.

How can you better influence your children? Take time to pray for them today and send them an encouraging message.

About The Author

Jennifer Lovemore

Jennifer has three grown kids and is married to her best friend, Richard. She started this website as a platform to help families, and specifically women, to take control of their lives and grow themselves spiritually, mentally & emotionally, and to discover their God-given purpose and live it out with confidence. She is a trained Life Coach and has diplomas in relationship counselling and CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). She is a certified SYMBIS (Save Your Marriage Before It Starts) facilitator. She lives in sunny South Africa.


  1. Marie Meij | 4th Jun 19

    Oh Jenny I’m not sure this is true in every case. Our children have written us out of their lives. We feel like we are the beggars looking for crumbs. There are times when we can sit down and just talk but most of the times we just don’t exist. Now they are immigrating. North of the world and down South. This is a hard time for me. Thank you for your insights.

    • Jenny Lovemore | 4th Jun 19

      Marie, I feel this with you! The rejection of those nearest us cuts so deep! Thankfully, we have a God who understands that very pain and knows how to comfort us. When all else fails we have prayer – for ourselves and our children. May God’s Spirit comfort and strengthen you.

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.