Let’s face it, forgiving someone is not easy. In fact, it can be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. Why is forgiveness hard? Forgiving someone could be hard for a number of reasons: Not understanding what it really is Fearing to hold the person accountable because it feels judgemental Desiring to “punish” the person who wounded you Never having received forgiveness yourself, or, Not understanding God’s forgiveness And sometimes it’s just plain having a prideful heart that wants revenge, and enjoying the sense of power that comes from hanging on to unforgiveness. Figuring out what forgiveness…
Grieving is an awkward thing. It’s not something you can put in a box and say “this is how it works”. It’s changeable and unpredictable, and a highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on your personality, your life experience, and your faith. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. What is grief? Grief is the natural response to loss. It’s normal. Healthy. If you have lost someone or something, you should grieve. But grief comes in many shapes and forms, and for different reasons. You grieve when you lose a loved one or friend…
Does your intimate partner do hurtful things, say sorry, and promise to never do it again, until the next time it happens? Are you afraid of your spouse? Are you scared to say what you think, bring up certain topics, or even say no to sex? Does your relationship leave you feeling scared, isolated, confused, betrayed, or like you never know what’s coming next. Do you feel like you’re going crazy, second guessing yourself all the time, or that you are the one to blame for the conflict in your relationship? If you feel any of these…
A bunch of words and ideas come to mind when I think about being true to yourself: Integrity, honesty (with yourself and others), principle, authenticity (I really like that word!), acting on the beliefs and values you hold, doing what is right in spite of the consequences, backbone – yeah! I think I like these words because I used to be a doormat. A walkover with no identity of my own. I allowed others to think for me and make decisions for me. It was Shakespeare that said, “To thine own self be true.” That’s a great thought…
Do you often have feelings of just not being good enough when you’re with other people? Do other people’s accomplishments make you feel “less than”? Are you at peace with yourself, with who you are – your talents, abilities, and limitations? Have you accepted yourself? What is self-acceptance? Self-acceptance does not equal arrogance or conceit. It means being comfortable with who you are, knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are and being Okay with them. Accepting yourself doesn’t mean you don’t have room to grow and change in some areas. It means liking the…
Talking about pornography is unpleasant, but we have to because it’s everywhere. Since the Coronavirus hit the world with its lockdown regulations, porn sites have been generous and offered free porn. Naturally, they’ve reported an upsurge in traffic. People are home and feeling bored, frustrated, anxious, or lonely, and porn offers “relief”. Porn sites would have you believe that what they offer is – if not good for you – not bad. How bad is porn? What’s the big deal about it? The justifications for it are many, and today we’re looking at common lies people believe about…
Lately, I’ve taken a break from life, only doing the bare essentials. Less time on social media, more time outside, or lying on the couch thinking. Why have I done this? To think about what’s going on deep inside of me. To audit my soul. As I’ve been auditing my soul – taking stock, seeing what’s really going on inside of me – I’ve realised that for a lot of my life I’ve edited my soul – cut out pieces of it that are important because life delivered the message that they don’t matter…
After I wrote last week’s post on why you shouldn’t say “Everything happens for a reason”, I got to thinking. It’s all very well to listen to someone and support them, but what if they only want to use you as a dumping ground for all their woes? They argue about every solution you offer and refuse to think more positively about their situation. In essence, they’re a “help resistor”. And, if you allow them to continue it will put strain on your relationship and drain you emotionally. How can you help…
We all know people who are going through a divorce, a spouse is dying of cancer, or they’ve lost their job. Because it’s really awkward and we don’t know what to say or do, we often make two errors – a) we do nothing because we’re afraid of doing the wrong thing, or b) we say things that are well intentioned but not helpful. Like, “Everything happens for a reason”, or “These things come to teach us lessons”. What’s wrong with saying “Everything happens for a reason”? First of…